Kristin’s Law: Anything that can go wrong during your “introspective week of editing” can and will.
I just received edits on Vamped Up, the second book in the Vampires of Crimson Bay Series and let me tell you, I’ve got my work cut out for me. They’re extensive, and not in the “go through deleting erroneous adverbs” or “change every double space after end punctuation to single” kind of way. They’re more like “slow a certain character’s inner transformation” or “change everything having to do with that character”. (Okay, so it wasn’t exactly like that, but you get the point.)
I knew the edits were coming. I was forewarned. I planned ahead and caught up on laundry, stocked up the fridge and deep cleaned the closets. (Oh yes I did!) I bought new coloring books for my munchkins and downloaded new music.
But I could never have expected Husband to come home and say the words every woman dreams of hearing…
Honey, I think we should remodel our kitchen. What do you think?
I choked on my ramen. You mean, after six years of walking on 1970’s brown and gold linoleum, I could finally be…free? (I sound bitter, yes, but the kitchen’s been great. We got an unbelievable deal on the house, so if I had to accept the outdated kitchen, I would. And I did.)
Husband’s words changed everything.
Of course I wanted a new kitchen. But now? When I’m chair-bound and tied to the manuscript?
Not wanting to dismiss the opportunity (for fear it would never return—you know, like Halley’s comet or something—see it once and you’ll probably never get your shot again…unless you live to be really old, in which case you probably won’t see it anyway), I screamed YES!
I was absolutely insane.
Kristin’s law took hold. I cleaned out my kitchen top to bottom to “get ready” for the demolition. My living room has been swallowed by red and blue tubs filled with pots and pans and dishes. I can’t find shit. I’m tripping over things left and right. I stepped on shards of sheetrock all afternoon. The demo crew took sledgehammers to my tile yesterday…while I cringed and made faces and convinced one of my characters to lighten up and not be such a possessive A-hole.
And then my dog (who’s been rolling around in mud all afternoon) sneaked into the house and splayed himself over my new couches. Instead of delving deeper into my manuscript I scrubbed dirt stains and lost my mind a bit.
Ah yes, Kristin’s law. No matter how prepared you are to sit and edit, things creep up.
I found out last night that if I want the remodel to continue on schedule, I have to pick my lights, like, yesterday. I’m not a decisive person. At all. It takes me ten minutes to pick what I want for lunch. Permanent lights for my kitchen ordered by tomorrow morning? Not happening. (He’s basically holding my microwave and stove hostage—albeit in my own garage—until I decide, but whatever. Who needs to cook, right?) Tomorrow I’ll be perusing through catalogs and shopping downtown instead of fixing that major issue in Chapter 13.
All that work I did to prepare for my edits was for nothing, really. It didn’t matter. Because something always comes up. And it did. That something has been a larger project than I could’ve ever imagined. I’ll be thrilled with the final outcome—on both counts—but dammit, I can’t wait to get there.
Kristin’s law kicked my ass this week.
I could go on…and on, but I won’t. I’ll leave you with a few pictures, befores and afters, and if y’all are interested, I’ll post about the progress when I blog again week after next. Edits will be due shortly thereafter and the kitchen should be just about finished.
Back to edits I, uh, go!