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The Dark Days of Christmas

What would a dark elf slip into Santa’s bag besides Sabrina’s new book? Why, for the bookish but less romantically inclined, it would have to be an H.P. Lovecraft inspired holiday. The Necronomicon would be a great gift! Who wouldn’t enjoy a little light and mind-destroying reading about the Elder Gods? I’m sure that wouldn’t end badly! Not on Christmas day, right? The insanity would likely require at least 24 hours to take hold. Surely the sacrifices and bloodshed would hold off until Boxing Day.

For the younger, budding cultist, a plush stuffed likeness of Cthulu or the almighty Daigon would be just the thing. The child’s screams of terror in the night insisting that the toys are whispering foul, horrible things? Overactive imagination. Surely! Just note that the links between children receiving these toys causing an increase in playing with matches and various accelerants – totally spurious. Correlation. Causality hasn’t been established.

For the musically inclined, Santa’s cultist elf would slip this CD into the gift pile. It’s a real thing you can order favssrom Cthulu Lives. Of course, maybe all a dark elf would have to do for the gamers on your list is bring the newest MMORPG. Elder Scrolls. Wildstar. You’d never see your game addicted family members again.

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