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How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse by The Sisters Grimm

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by 3oneseven
Warning! Flashing on that site! Migraine or seizure trigger alert!

 Since perhaps even before the Cranberries’ song Zombie in 1994, the connection between war, apocalyptic thinking, and zombies has been in the widespread cultural consciousness. It’s to the point that university professors and the CDC have taken interest in the phenomenon, though maybe for different reasons. It’s to the point that there are articles out there trying to impress upon us the positive influence this zombie fixation can have on our psychology. Is it any wonder that a large number of people are mashing zombies up with another phenomenon of the zeitgeist–the return of mass popular fascination with fairy tales? (See the bottom of this post for links around the web to fascinating and amusing mash-ups of zombies and fairy tales.)

When Keira and I were assigned the theme “How would you survive the zombie apocalypse?” we immediately decided to to mash the two ideas ourselves, given our own love of fairy tales. We decided to see how–or if–some of our favorite fairy tale characters might survive a zombie apocalypse.

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by Lora Zombie

Little Red Riding Hood. Would she survive? We believe she would. With the help of her massive, vicious, protective, sentient, talking wolf friend (and maybe a machine gun in accord with this drawing by Lora Zombie), Red could definitely hold off the zombies and make a cozy home of a wolf den. There are all kinds of incredibly filthy stories that might come of that scenario, but I’ll leave that to your own perverted imaginations. Or you can bleach your brain now, if you like. I’ll wait here.

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by punziesshiftedworld

Rapunzel. Would she survive? We believe she would. For awhile. As the zombies crowd around the base of her tower, Rapunzel watches safely from her tower above, refusing to let down her hair. Eventually, though, it becomes clear that her beloved prince and her evil captor have both lost their yummy brains to the zombies below. Trapped as she is in her tower, Rapunzel must make a terrible choice–die of dehydration and starvation or lower her hair to creatures of the night below.

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by Anka Zhuravleva

The Light Princess. Would she make it out alive? We think that the Light Princess stands one of the best chances for successful zombie evasion–assuming she doesn’t find herself completely untethered to float away into the stratosphere to freeze and suffocate. When the zombies approach, the Light Princess could bound to the top of buildings, float to grip the uppermost twigs of trees, and dangle herself off the church spires, climbing down to collect food and water when the coast was clear. Alas, her poor prince would probably be zombified, but the princess herself could likely survive quite some time. (By the way, Keira and I wrote a m/m version of The Light Princess called Earthly Desires.)

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by yusef abonamah

Jack (and the Beanstalk). Would he make it? Well, most of the time it would be touch and go for him, but we think there are a few ways that Jack might survive the zombie apocalypse. The first and most obvious step would be for Jack to climb the beanstalk to escape the crowd of zombies. He’d have to get to the top before them all, and then, of course, he’d have to deal with the giant. This is where the possibilities really open up for him. He could try to somehow destroy the beanstalk before the zombies get to the top, hoping that he can accomplish it before the giant smells his delicious English blood. Or he could hide, wait for the zombies to reach the top, and hope the giant takes care of them himself. I’m pretty sure the giant could defeat the zombies. I think he’d have the strength to toss them, one after another, off the side of the cloud, and he’d probably be more successful at destroying the stalk than Jack would be. He’s likely only left it up this long in order to seduce humans up it in order to supplement his food supply with tasty flesh and bones. So, truly, this is probably Jack’s best bet.

Once the giant has tossed the zombies over, destroyed the stalk so no more can climb up, Jack would then need to deal with the giant. He could go the traditional route of cutting off his head (see picture above) or perhaps he might be a bit sneakier than that, choosing instead to attempt to befriend the giant, introduce him to the idea of vegetarianism, or at least seduce him into embracing a diet free of human flesh. There are other options, of course, but I think it all hinges on Jack beating the zombies up the beanstalk and then being able to either kill or befriend the giant.

Another possibility that would be fun would be if the giant cannot destroy the stalk, and so zombies are a constant threat. I’m now imagining a scenario where Jack hides out in the castle, and he and the giant are foes at first, but finally they begin to work together to defeat the zombie threat. Eventually friendship blossoms and then love blooms. It’s the classic danger scenario bringing to enemies together that so many grand romances are made of. Speaking of, while there are no zombies, Keira and I did pen a hate-to-love Jack and the Beanstalk story, which you can purchase HERE.

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Welcome to the Zombie/Fairy Tale Zeitgeist!

1. Kevin Richey’s Zombie Fairy Tales: “Kevin Richey’s Zombie Fairy Tales are a monthly series of short stories set in a dark fairy tale universe plagued by zombies. Surreal and full of black humor, installments feature familiar childhood characters as they encounter a world of stark violence and horror — Cinderella is worked to death before the ball, Pinocchio is made from children’s corpses, and Little Red Riding Hood finds more than wolves in the forest. New titles will appear on the 13th of each month throughout 2012. The series features overlapping elements, characters, and places for a more immersive experience for the dedicated fan, but can also be read as stand-alone entries in any order.”

2. Little Red Riding Hood: A Zombie Fairy Tale GAME: “Little Dead Riding Hood is a racing game. Each player assumes the role of one of the Riding Hood sisters trying desperately to get supplies to their beloved grandmother. Simple really, except for those pesky zombie wolves.” (I’m not sure why the wolves need to be zombies and not just, you know, wolves, but there you have it!)

3. Snow White and the Seven Dead Dwarves: A Zombie Fairytale: “Fast-paced and violent with a lot of zombie carnage (seriously; A LOT) make SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DEAD DWARFS a really fun read.”

4. Zombie Fairy Tale Theater: A hilarious and charming new webseries “Zombie Fairytale Theater”; where the zombies tell the stories. You can view the series HERE. (Yes, I used the words ‘hilarious’ and ‘charming’ with regard to zombies. I don’t know either.)

5. Zombie Fairy Tales by Jill Myles: “Collected here are 7 short, slightly twisted fairy tales retold from a zombie perspective. What if Cinderella had been undead when she went to the ball? What if Little Red Riding Hood went to Grandma’s house to eat her?”

6. A Very Zombie Fairy Tale! A play in Dublin that seems to have already run, but deserves a mention anyway due to it’s description: Zombies! Puppets! Musical Numbers! True Love! Sounds like a hoot, don’t you think?

7. Call for Fairy Tale Zombies Submission from Entangled in Romance: The deadline for it was summer 2012, so if you’ve got the sweetest, hottest zombie fairy tale romance sitting on your hard drive, alas you are too late. But! Surely the books or anthology should be available for purchase soon since the deadline for submission was last summer, right? Keep an eye out for it!


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Keira Andrews and Leta Blake write fairy tale inspired m/m erotica and romantica with Ellora’s Cave. Check out Ascending Hearts, available through Ellora’s Cave, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Sony, and others! And also remember to look at Earthly Desires, the first book in the Tempting Tales series, available for purchase at AmazonBarnes and Noble, and Ellora’s Cave.

Tempting Freebie – Introduction to Keira Andrews and Leta Blake

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Hi! This is Leta and Keira, authors of the Tempting Tales series from Ellora’s Cave. We published the first book in the series, Earthly Desires at the end of June, and are hoping the second book will be out before the end of the year. These novellas are erotic, m/m tales inspired by fairy and folk tales. We’re giving away an electronic copy of Earthly Desires, so please comment if you’d like to win it!

We decided that answering some faux interview questions might be a fun way to introduce ourselves.

1. What is it about fairy and folk tales that inspires you?

Keira: I love that many of these stories – particularly fairy tales – are larger than life, with epic journeys and romances. There’s so much freedom in the fantasy genre to create and expand on worlds that are so different from our own. Yet the characters face the same struggles we do, and we can connect with their struggles. I’m also a sucker for a happily ever after!

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Art by Threadless. Buy a t-shirt from them.

Leta: Keira stole my answer. Haha! Actually, to go a bit further with it, the most inspiring thing to me about fairy tales is how deeply erotic and symbolic they often are. On the surface, a story like Little Red Riding Hood, for example, is about a child on her way to Grandmother’s house with a basket of goodies who is waylaid by a dangerous wolf and the potentially terrible outcome of that. Generally, people see it as a tale of stranger danger, but it’s a highly charged tale of sexual temptation at its core. It’s not just the fear factor of the scary bad wolf that sends a thrill up the reader’s spine, but the fact that an elemental part of us recognizes the sexual awakening within the story and wants Red to be lured by the wolf to whatever outcome might befall her.

Fairy tales and folk tales are already sexually charged, and finding a way into those stories, so that I can play with the symbolism in ways that are fun or new-to-me, is very inspiring.

2. Why have you chosen to re-write the tales with homosexual characters, specifically m/m couplings? Do you plan to ever branch out to f/f tales?

Keira: We all grew up with these stories of princes and princesses, and we thought it would be exciting to reimagine the tales with two male protagonists. We also really dig hot guys having sex together. 😀 We’re focused at the moment on m/m, but I’m certainly not opposed to f/f, which is underrepresented in the romance genre, in my opinion.

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Art by Natalia Lopes.

Leta: There is definitely an appeal to hot men together, but, for me, the larger interest has always been in imagining how archetypal situations feel different and play out in different ways when the sex or gender of the protagonists are changed. I enjoy thinking about the various ways that Sleeping Beauty is a different story when Beauty is Beau, and he’s a very handsome dude. Because changing up the genders and sexes can be so much fun, I do hope to one day look at the f/f side of things and to possibly explore some trans characters within fairy tales settings. At this point, though, it appears that the first four stories will definitely be m/m. I have a story featuring a more gender-bending character in mind for Fall 2013, though, if our insane writing schedule goes according to plan. And I’d love to do a f/f tale in 2014, perhaps.

3. What was your favourite fairy tale as as child? Has it changed as an adult?

Keira: As a kid my favourite was Cinderella. I loved the Disney movie and that everyone was mean to poor Cinderella but she rose above it and found her prince. I actually don’t think it’s changed as an adult. I do have more appreciation for the darker tales that freaked me out as a kid (Hansel and Gretel was so upsetting to me!), but at heart I’m a hopeless romantic.

Leta: As a child, my favorite was The Elves and the Shoemaker. Now that I’m older, I think I like the more terrifying and symbolically erotic stories like Bluebeard, Rapunzel, or Red Riding Hood.

4. What other writing do you or have you done in the past? What can we anticipate from you aside from Tempting Tales in the next few years?

Keira: I’ve written a number of contemporary and historical romances, as well as a YA novel. Along with our m/m fairy tales, I’m working on a post-WWII historical at the moment. Also have many other ideas, so you can expect a variety of books in the future!

Leta: In the next year, in addition to the tales, I hope to finish my LGBT-themed coming-of-age book set in the recent past of the 1990s. I sincerely hope to find a good home for it in 2013. I have several novels of magical, speculative, and contemporary fiction in the works as well, and hope to have them completed over the next couple of years. I am eager to get these books out into the world. Some of them have really taken their time coming to fruition. In the end, I hope those who read them enjoy the stories as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them.

Don’t forget to comment to win an e-book of our first book in the Tempting Tales series!

Leta Blake and Keira Andrews write fairy tale inspired m/m erotica and romantica with Ellora’s Cave. Check out Earthly Desires, the first book in the series, available for purchase at AmazonBarnes and Noble, and Ellora’s Cave.

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