So, this month we’re talking about what shifter we’d be if we could shape-shift and I had a revelation. Thinking about it reminded me of the episode of Star Trek TNG, when everyone on the ship starts to devolve. Who knew Troy would be a fish-thing, or Picard would turn into a weasel? The only one who seemed true to type was Worf, who was extremely scary and inclined to eat all the rest of the crew. No one ever said whether he had eaten anyone or not when not trying to mate with Troy… surely not everyone got away from him?
Anyway, so I approached this question first from a “What would I like to be?” perspective. That was easy! Something sleek and powerful—a cheetah or a dragon, maybe even a wolf or a lioness. Top of the food chain bay-bee. All flash and glory and snarly teeth. Sounded awesome, until I started considering what being one of those would entail. Things like running, hunting, fighting knights and guarding treasure.
That’s when I had to have a nap.
I’m just not cut out for those kind of energetic activities.
On a basic level I’m lazy, have a ‘soon-come’ kind of mentality and don’t like doing more than absolutely necessary. I do like to eat though and will exert myself to cook or search out food, as long as it isn’t running away, forcing me to chase it. So, surfing the internet for a new restaurant is within the realm of my abilities in the hunting department. Not much more than that. I was, I think, born to be in a harem with nothing to do but eat, be bathed and wait around for the sultan to want nookies. Yeah, I could be down with that kind of life…
While I’ve been known to lose my temper, I’m generally easy-going and mostly prefer to let trouble pass me by if I can hunker down and just watch it fly over my head. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’m also a dreamer, lost in thought half the time, eyes glazed over, no doubt forcing people to check to see if I’m breathing. Oh, and there’s that crazy hair too.
So, eventually, thinking it through carefully, I came to the conclusion I’d probably be happiest as… a sloth! And, I’d finally have long fingernails to boot! BONUS!!
Imagine from dobrador.com